| What's Wrong With People? |
[Feb. 4th, 2004|12:44 am] |
The one thing that i hate most of all is stupid people. They are everywhere, and epecially where I work. God help me (literally)!!! I work at the YMCA, and there has to be the most closed-minded, stupid people I have ever had the displeasure of being associated with. First I get in trouble for reading my school book on Darwin. Can you believe this? Most of these people have never picked up a book, with the exception to them carrying around there Bibles. This woman said I was reading an evil book. Now I did not get too upset over this. First I know that I am ten plus times smarter than 98% of these people, so I blew this off. But today this woman puts up a poster saying that the word 'evolution' should be band from schools, and the poster also said that creationism was the only true way to firguring out the past. This made me angry so I ripped the poster down after she put it up. I believe I made the right decision.
LeAnn look I updated my own journal. I hope it stands up to par. |
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| One small step for Allison, One giant leap for Allisonkind! |
[Jan. 31st, 2004|01:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eating is Fun Eating is Serious | ] |
So far today has been chock-full-o-screaming kiddies. Working at a daycare center pretty much means you're a mobile jungle gym 4-8 hours a day. I get paid like 5.75 an hour to be screamed at, bit, puked on, and you don't even want to know what else...I could of course tell you, but you may then be scarred for life and far be it for me to be the cause of a drastically decreased birthrate. Death be not proud, for supply is running low! The title, as you may have gathered, has nothing to do with anything. I just found it witty and charming at the time. Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I have been given the task of procuring food, and my stomach has alerted me that Rally's is of much higher import than any of you. However, fear not, for I shall return, and once the grinding sound in my stomach has desisted I will again look upon you all with great love and esteem! And God said, there shall be live journal entries! |
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| In the Beginning... |
[Jan. 30th, 2004|02:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Amazing Grace by An Old Dead Person (my personal favorite) | ] |
There was not me. I don't really know who there was, but I'm dedicating my life to find out who came before me. By the way, did I mention that LeAnn helped me make this? I think, since she obviously came before me (being born before February 12, 1983) she could possibly have been the first person...you know, here when God decided to cough out the hairball of humanity. Yes...I am almost sure of it.
Here is my theory:
Step 1: God got bored. This is most likely to due to him losing a bet to the Archangel Michael on who would win the Celestial Pennant or some such nonsense.
Step 2: God decided to create humanity, and make Michael and all those bastard pennant-losing angels serve them...as a cross between vengeance for having to walk around Heaven naked for a day (his payment on the bet) and a cruel practical joke.
Step 3: LeAnn was created, by accident, when Phanuel shot a spit ball at the back of God's head during his "Creation Yoga" meditation period.
Step 4: God found his new creation cute and adorable, and immediately ordered all the angels to bow down before her and cater to her every whim.
Step 5: After only a few hours of service to the new creation, Michael makes the suggestion to God that perhaps he was wrong to think this bossy, blood-sucking bitch of a creation was cute and adorable.
Step 6: God's wrath at the suggestion that He, the Almighty, could be wrong (especially since it was given by that bastard, Michael) flares to the surface, and he orders Michael to be demoted to "LeAnn's Cushy Ottoman" status.
Step 7: God visits LeAnn, in all her splendor.
Step 8: God does not like this step mentioned, so I shall be brief and say that it has something to do with broken glass and various sharp objects being thrown at God as he fleed the room screaming in a way that might be thought of (by the most conservative) as girly.
Step 9: God pondered.
Step 10: God decides that perhaps Michael was right, but will never let him know that.
Step 11: God orders LeAnn taken down to a planet where he had started an experiment with bacteria millions of years ago as a past time.
Step 12: In order to keep LeAnn from bitching specifically to him, God grabbed a hand full of dirt, a spatula, and one of LeAnn's ribs, spit on them, sauteed for awhile, and produced males.
Step 13: With luck, and a few humping motions the rest of humanity was concieved.
Sooner or later, I was born for the sole purpose of discovering this untainted truth of our creation. |
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scottish_dragon's journal